Chicken effed Bacon

Brand Name: Dan Philips
Founded: like 100+ years ago…blah blah blah
Place of Origin: Kentucky
Product Name:Special Brown Sugar Hickory Smoked Country Bacon
Product Weight: 16oz Retail Price: N/A
Smoke: Hickory
Cure: Brown Sugar
BotMC Price Per Pound (derived): $32.00
My Review: Wooooohooooo! A Full Pound of Bacon this time. When reviewing bacon and comparing one to the other I have now decided that the absolute most important feature of a bacon is the amount that I get. A one pound package of ANY bacon is always superior to a lesser amount of any other bacon.

Taste: Fucking Smokey…and goddammed delicious! This is probably the smokiest bacon I have ever had. 2 days after frying up some of Dan Philips Hickory Smoked pork goodness my house still smells like there was house fire in which were killed a bunch of cute piggies that were raised to go in my belly.

Application: With Eggs of course. However because of the smokiness, eggs were not tasted, neither were potatoes or toast…everything tasted and smelled like smokey bacon. Also the bacon went into a very good Brussels Sprouts dish that Mrs. Jeley made. Now I know what you are thinking, “why ruin perfectly good bacon with fart smelling mini cabbages?”. Well lets just say, this bacon makes Brussel Sprouts not only edible, but freaking delicious.

Crispyness: This is some crispy fucking bacon. Thin strips, not like last month where we had the super aborbant maxi-pads of bacon…this month we got strips that fried up nice and crispy, and like last month, was dry cured so we didn’t lose alot of bacon mass. The strips when fried up where not only crispy, but chewy and meaty at the same time.

Smoke: My god! Did I mention that this bacon is smokey? Did I mention that Smokey the Bear came by thinking that we had started a forest fire and tied pigs to the trees? Did I mention that we now have all the local dogs in the neighborhood chewing on the sides of my house cause the whole place smells like smoked pork?

Regrets: I didn’t make a BLT before I ran out…this is probably the perfect BLT meat.

Mrs. Jeley’s Thoughts: “It’s definitely smokey” (editor: Really? I had no idea)
Now for some photos to make your mouth water.